Secondhand Smoke and Mirrors…the good, bad and the found

As I was driving home today I found myself daydreaming about smoking and how something that was so globally accepted is now an anomaly.  At its peak in the 1960’s 40% of the population smoked!  Today only 14% of the population smokes and those that do are relegated to smoke out of sight.  I was raised by parents that smoked as well as many relatives and never did it occur to me as unusual. Smoking in the home, smoking in the car, smoking in restaurants, and everywhere else was considered normal now that long ago.  The most uncomfortable memory I have is one where I was hospitalized, nine months pregnant, and the girl sharing the room with me was smoking as was the nearly 10 friends and family of hers in the room. They were full of excitement as she had literally just had the baby. Meanwhile, I was sitting behind a curtain breathing in the immense smoke in the room, alone, and suffocating. Seems unthinkable now to believe such a story.  

This random thought then grew into the thought of the term “secondhand” and the bad rap the word gets based on being most affiliated with smoking.  When thinking through other forms of secondhand I could think of another few affiliations that bring about a negative perception:

  • Secondhand clothes can be trash or treasure. To the sibling that is getting the older sibling’s clothes; secondhand sucks. To the thrifty shopper at the Goodwill that finds secondhand clothes that still have tags, it is a treasure!
  • Secondhand information can be dangerous.  Rarely is this information given without alteration.  Acting upon secondhand information frequently gets the orator in trouble.

 

What to write about…

I sit here every night wondering what inspired me today enough to make it my subject. And then I have those days that are simply wonderfully random and I have thought I would like to write about all of these “feels” that I have experienced that day. So today is that day, my day of randomness that I just want to share everything:

  • Watching AGT which I was never a fan of before but became a fan in the year I spent with my mother, it was a fave of hers. The randomness of my thoughts tonight are that the judges just gave a standing O for a lovely girl but the song was not so lovely…
  • So many changes happening with my youngest who just passed his Learner’s Permit tonight and talked to me about getting a job next. It’s happening…freedom found…and I am losing my last baby. Oh my heart…
  • My husband was not feeling well today and as I am listening to the symptoms I am internally panic stricken that the thought that he would ever leave me here alone is beyond comprehension. Do you ever panic over the thought of losing your loved ones even though you know even thinking about it is the wrong train of thought, but you are so in fear…ugh…I’ll stop now.

This was just the randomness of my evening. My ride home conversation was rewarding as yet another one of my loves shares their next venture and courage to make the change they want in their own life.

This is life, it’s random, it’s not predictable but most importantly it is absolutely what YOU make it. I have struggled lately figuring out this “new normal”, making sense out of the randomness and the many changes occurring all at the same time in my life. What I have learned in these moments is:

  • To be grateful for the stability in those around you that are your constant.
  • Don’t miss the moments of fellowship in every experience. Today that came in the most random moments. A person interrupting a meeting, a person staying late to share stories about their children and the best of course was being having a late dinner and playing in the ball pit with my grand babies.

Tomorrow is another day. It will be random as any other day. These days I look forward to the random, I am beyond longing for normal, my life is as versatile as my spirit, my views and my love

What do I write about tonight? What I always write about…

Life as I see it – L.