What if you do not have a MESS to be your MESSage? What will drive you?

I have always prided myself in the fact that I came from a less than charmed life and have created the life I always wanted…or so I thought. I have been lingering on this thought, every single point, for some time now debating on whether the life I created came from having less than a charmed life…or if it really matters. Our childhood is typically all that we know as life and only realize different when we are old enough to compare and contrast. The life we believe we want is something we emulate from what we see or perceive, but never having that life before how can we know it is what we want. I have always thought that I worked harder at creating this life because of where I started. My “mess” has been my “message” for years. Working a minimum wage job, standing in a food stamp line, having a child at 18 years old and living on my own in an a tough neighborhood was my “mess” and how I climbed out of that and persevered has been my message. But what if there were no mess…what would have driven me? What drives you?

Does it take a mess to create a drive? Is that really what pushes us? Surely not, otherwise we would see the fall from grace as profoundly as we see the rise from the ashes. Neither are prevalent but both are worthy. I was never going to be stuck in that “mess”. It is as simple as that…I was never meant to be in a “mess”. And the reality is that I have always had the message, it is who I am outspoken, sharing and wanting to lead and inspire others.

The original thought about what drives us without the “mess” came to me when I was thinking about my own children. What would drive them without a “mess” to overcome? My kids depending on what order they were born in (HA!) had a somewhat charmed life. They had both parents living at home, happily married in a world of single parents. They had gifts under the tree at Christmas and always had a birthday party with a house full of friends and family. What would they strive for if they have no mess? What would be their message? Why would they push harder?

As I marinated on this overnight I came to realize that it is about passion. What drives us is passion, internal flame, fire, if you will. What drives me is indeed to have a better life but I am not replacing one for the other because when I look back on those times, now described as my “mess”, there was a lot of beauty in it. My wants have changed over the years and indeed a “want” to not struggle and be independent in every way did drive me to push harder but the reality is that I was born to push and I would have regardless. My passion and love for what I do, who I am and want to be is because I value becoming an expert and student of those things that interest and pushes me to do more and be better. When I look back on why my children push and will continue to it is not about a mess or a message but instead a passion and drive that exists within them despite their past, current or future. We are an “all-in” kind of family. 🙂

My message to you today is that “who cares about where you came from”, it does not determine where you are going. Tony Robbins says that you have to “burn the boats to own the island”. Stop holding on to those things that no longer serve you and do what you love, what fires you up, what inspires you! If you are not doing exactly THAT every single day you are simply doing it wrong. Every one of us can employ this despite where we are in our career, lifetime or situation. Stop right now and remind yourself what you are passionate about and do it MORE! If you are among the living dead with no passion or fire FIND IT today! If you are among the passionate and putting all of your eggs in one basket; find more places to spread that fire and DO MORE.

You were born to bring something to this life…do you know what that is? Have you already done it? I am exploring this every single day despite having conquered many FINISH LINES along the way. I am starting to realize that those FINISH LINES were more relays where I would pass that baton on to someone else for I no longer needed it and was on to a new leg holding on to that new baton until I found the speed and endurance to finish it and find the next baton to grab. This is my life, it is a journey, it is a race at times and a water stop at others…but the fact remains that there is always a fire burning. This flame is mine and not to be extinguished until the very end. My mess will always be my message but it is not the “why” anymore and now I realize it may never have been; I was always meant to have this life…for it is charmed in more ways than can be defined.

Living life as I see it – L.

Taking Souls…

Let’s continue where we left off with David Goggins and his book “Can’t Hurt Me”. Today’s chapter was on Hell Week Navy Seal training. We have all heard the rumors and maybe some of you reading have actually been through or know someone who has succeeded Hell Week, what an honor.

David proves the theory of mind over matter numerous times during this chapter and his quotes are too awe-inspiring not to offer them to you below. As you have come to know my writing I am offering some of my own insight in Italics as some of these quotes speak to me.

Can’t Hurt Me Quotes from David Goggins:

Life is relentless, it just keeps coming at you… #Word

Leave the bitterness behind you or you will never be free. It’s a mindset. Control the things you can control! (Circle of concern and circle of control)

One of my favorites visuals…sorry it’s a bit blurry but the long/short of it is control what you can control and leave the rest!

Everything is perfect for us to succeed…when? We have to be great in a situation that is not always perfect! If you wait for perfect you will never start.

Unexpected descends like chaos My absolute favorite quote!!! My God, has this never been so true than in the last two years of my life. It was as if a bomb went off hearing the words that my mom had cancer; like a screech of the needle across the record. Time stopped.

Why am I here? Know why you are in the fight to stay in the fight. Remember all pain is temporary.

Own real estate in their minds and show them that the worst time in their life is your best time. Take their power, take their soul. This is deep, this is terrorizing if you don’t manage it right on both your soul and theirs.

This is me running right before the last hurricane. The tactical advantage in long distance running is the training and time on your feet and incoming hurricane would be my way of pushing that one last second, taking a tactical advantage and through it all accomplishing what others thought was impossible.

You have to last one more second than the person beside you. It’s the person that can find the tactical advantage, when you are doing something that most people think is impossible, that is what it’s all about.

Don’t let the message get in your head; don’t believe the noise. Feel what you feel, don’t let their reality be your reality. Life is one big mind game and usually you are playing against yourself. The human mind always tries to find the easiest path. You must program it to do what you want it do.

Weakness is infectious but so is strength. As leaders, the more you think about yourself the harder hell is going to be. The sooner you think of everyone else you are not trapped in your own thoughts. A purpose bigger than yourself as a leaders helps you achieve more.

Challenge 4 – Taking Souls

Choose any competitive situation you are in right now. Who is your opponent; your teacher, coach or boss. Excellence can turn the tables to earn their respect. Work harder than you ever have before and exceed their expectations. Do everything exactly as they ask, and whatever standard they set as an ideal outcome, you should be aiming to surpass that. Take their negativity and use it to dominate their task with everything you’ve got.

This is about taking the power away “taking the soul” by doing beyond what they (your competitor or mentor) thought you could do by surpassing their maximum expectations. In life we always have people with a power dynamic that you have to deal with, it’s how you manage that relationship by being great that will overtake, overcome and overachieve.

Don’t let anybody get the advantage over you, change your mindset and find where you can get the advantage and then dominate that area.

When “taking souls” you have to do it with humility. Do it with the understanding that you are trying to be your best in a time when everyone else is tired. This overachiever mindset can make people look at you very differently. Know this going in.

CRAZY to believe that this is ONE chapter of this amazing book. Such an incredible insight. Quotable quotes that I will read again and again and again but more importantly will LIVE! In life we have to get behind something, we have to believe in something for it’s that something that has the power to become EVERYTHING or NOTHING. You decide the path, you decide the belief, YOU DECIDE how you take the words from such a journey as David Goggins and try to replicate it. I have always believed that you can do anything you set your mind to (almost) and he proves it time and time again through mountains of adversity. This is what it means to take your MESS and make it your MESSAGE. #Preach

Thank you Mr. Goggins as I love life as you see it; it’s a blessing to share your story. L.