Driven to Silence

Photo by Anna Shvets on

Today is the day, the start of a 5-day adventure into silence. What am I doing?!?!

This crazy idea started back in May when talking to Dr. Baker who shared with me that he had recently come off of a 7-day silent retreat out in Big Sur. He was sharing his retreat with me after I told him that there is simply too much noise in my life and it is making it hard for me to figure out what comes next. I was on the cusp of my 50th birthday and he told me to try it. What ultimately sold me was his confidence that if I removed all of the noise the answers I am looking for will appear.

I immediately BOOKED IT! I found a retreat center that is a little less “extreme” than the one Dr. Baker attended, which was far better for someone like me that is just starting to explore this world. The first session they were offering was in October and I was booking before my mind had time to contemplate it. I called my dear friend that has done all of my wellness adventures with me and of course she was “in”.

As it does, life simply went on for the next five months and I barely thought about the impending retreat. Two weeks ago I realized it was time to figure out how I was getting to the top of a mountain in North Carolina and the travel planning began. As it turned out my “best laid plans” were doomed due to massive flight delays the weekend before and so I would find myself driving the 9+ hours to North Carolina from Florida.

I woke at 4:00am and set out on my day long journey to silence at 5:21am. My sweet and totally opposite-of-me husband woke early with me to help with my luggage and offer his final words of advice, “don’t join a cult”…and that my friends is what we call moral support!

The drive as it would turn out would be a journey unto itself. As I was driving from Florida to Savannah which is relatively routine for me as work has me in Savannah frequently. It was at the point that I crossed the state line into South Carolina that it started to hit me. The last time I had driven this trek was to go to my mother’s funeral in Woodlawn three years ago, only preceded by the many trips to Virginia during her final year. As thoughts of her came flooding in, I found myself cueing up Rob Thomas for a car concert that has only been better performed when she was in the passengers seat. I was strong but lamenting. As the drive continued into North Carolina and I found myself climbing into the mountains the view was eerily familiar. Again these mountains, these homes, these roads; they are what I remember of my many trips to Burnett Road, Woodlawn, Virginia.

View from my porch. My Mom is surely with me…breathtaking in more ways that one.

The drive into silence has already been a journey unto itself. I faced the music, literally and figuratively. I have yet to drive back up to “her” mountain and park in “her” driveway but today I am one-step closer to the place we last held hands.

As for my heart, she has always had it and still does…silence…so far…is not so bad.

13 hours in – 🙂

Life as I Live it – L.

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