Seeking Normal – Day 12

Day 12 prompt:

If we agree that there are variations of normal, than the normal we seek is one variation of many; is it content normal, happy normal, young normal…how many “normal’s” do you have”?

My answer:

I think there are two ways to answer this and one is about the current situation we are all in where you have been forced into a “new” normal for the time being and yet long for your “old” normal that we are simply not sure will ever exist as it did before. This is a great example of how there are many normal’s among us and therefore how to embrace many variations.

I think this also has value in understanding intention. There is a normal I attempt based on my intentions and yet there is another that exists without effort. My intention for normal on weekends is to spend one day working on everything that needs my attention; laundry, errands, cleaning, etc. and then one day enjoying family and relaxing. Many weekends I am so exhausted from the week that I do absolutely nothing and that is not something I will ever embrace as “normal”. In those days I choose to believe it is a mild interruption in my normal in an effort to meet myself where I am in that moment.

Last but not least I would be remiss if I did not share the first thing that came to mind when reading this prompt. This concept of variations of normal that we exercise has something to do with our many personalities. Ha…yes the more personalities the more normal. If it makes you feel more comfortable you can call them “roles”. My normal at work, is different than my normal at home. I am noticing that even when I am working at home that normal is different. It changes with the environment but so does my character, personality or persona.

Lots to think about. My father says I “think too much”, ha!, maybe he is right but it is my NORMAL! List your normal’s in the comments section. How many do you have; and if that task is hard to conceive list our your many personalities…that actually might be more fun! 🙂

Life as I overthink it – L.

Give it Time…literally

It will come in time, if you give it time… This is a reminder that all things worth having are worth waiting for but more importantly they are also worth time. While we are setting our intentions it is not enough to “set it and forget it”. To state the intention is the first step however we have to give the intention our time, passion and energy to work it into our lives and in time it will come naturally.

You would no sooner believe that saying you want to lose weight would be all that it would take to lose the weight. You would no sooner believe that saying you want a college degree would grant you one. Why then would you expect that setting an intention less tangible, like contentment, wisdom or respect would breed the intended result without the effort. It is always going to require time and effort and in time the effort will be less noticeable and the result will be received.

In all intentions we have to find the time to define, create and activate our intentions. Time is the price we pay to have what we intend and time is truly finite. There is no way to make more than we are given in our 24 hours a day but the decision on what you spend your time on is always yours. Are you giving time to your intention? Set it and forget it and it will be right where you left it…stalled.

In the theme of giving “it” time we have to find a place for all things and put all things in their place. Balance is the verb, juggling is a symptom of losing balance. Unless you have large amounts of time not filled with other things you will have to balance the new intention by removing those things that no longer serve you. If you are juggling, it is a losing proposition. Every juggler will eventually experience a break in the cadence where something falls. Balance don’t juggle.

There is no secret to success, this is it. Those that succeed simply make the time to accomplish their intentions through giving it time. They don’t worry how long it will take because they are moving towards that intention every day. Do or don’t, that is truly where intention lies. Do what you intend and live the life you intend; don’t and you won’t. Simple.

Life as I see it – L.

Undoubtedly Self-Confident

Self-confidence as defined is “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment”.  I found it interesting that “trust” was part of the definition; however fitting. I have always felt like I have a great deal of self-confidence however if it were redefined as a “great deal of trust” in myself I am not sure I would be so “confident” in my opinion. I find my self-confidence in more of a fearlessness than trust. I am bull-headed, I am defiant…I don’t always “trust” that I am making the right decisions but I do it anyway. Self-confidence?

What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

I believe in the concept “fake it ’til you make it”. I have learned through observation and knowledge that this is a more masculine than feminine strategy.  A recent study showed that men will frequently apply for a job that they are not qualified, while women will only apply for jobs that they have proven experience or expertise.  I subscribe to the idea that I can become an expert at anything if given the chance and willing to take the risk. Self-confidence?

I am a student at heart and love to learn but better yet, try on for size what I learn…take it for a test run. I will try anything (of interest) and am not afraid of failure. I believe in failing fast and being ready for change on a dime. I was raised by two parents that embraced this if by nothing more than happen-stance. My dad is a risk-taker and a dreamer. He dreams big and doesn’t see obstacles. My mother was the definition of independent and taught me the value of freedom from all ties that bind. The confidence that they lived in this life together and apart served me well. The bad times solidified this confidence as it showed me that a strong sense of “self” would serve me (them) well in the worst of times.

I do not believe in the idea that ” you can do anything you put your mind to” as I have learned through my experiences that this is a myth. But what I do believe is that when you are confident in your abilities (those things that you are skilled, passionate and meant to do/be) you can persevere. Choice is power. Where I choose to place my intention is where I find my confidence. We all decide and those things that don’t serve us don’t define us. Confidence is served in this world by placing yourself where you are meant to be not where other see you. Confidence is formed in the resolve of the choice, power is the decision and intention serves as the path.

Trust? As a word on its own…NO. Trust in my ability…YES. Trust in my qualities…YES. Trust in my judgment…YES. Self-confidence? YES, a resounding YES. I GOT THIS, I always do and so do you.

Life as I see it – L.

Shut your mouth…

What you say is what you will become; our words are our most powerful medium. More powerful than thoughts because they put into the universe for all to hear, digest and emote. Being an outspoken person I have seen the ups and downs of being heard. The good and the bad, the moments I wish I hadn’t said it and those moments that I was glad I did. I think a lot about the messages we send and offer you some of my own insight.

My latest venture is not telling on myself. I have always been one to put too much out there and now I am holding back more and more. I am not sure there is a specific reason other than now being in a place where I don’t think that everyone needs to know everything. So a fine example of this is, if I have to move a meeting on my calendar rather than sending out a note explaining why I am moving it, I now just make the request to move it and let it be. While i realize there are times that it is simply a courtesy to let someone “in” on why you are doing something that will affect them; rescheduling, canceling or simply saying “no” this doesn’t apply 100% of the time. I simply remind myself when I am in these situations “why am I telling on myself” and then decide if the additional personal information is going to add value or is even necessary.

Ultimately the greatest power in holding my tongue has been in my daily exercise of staying silent unless I have something meaningful to add to the conversation. I use the acronym W.A.I.T. – “Why Am I Talking” to remind me of my plight to stay silent. I have lived a lifetime of experiences and always have something to add but have learned that when you are always talking people stop listening. Eventually through this practice you will find that when you do have something to offer people listen more intently. I do this in all of my interactions. If I am in a meeting, I hold back to let everyone else express their ideas before I add anything to see if here is anything to add. When talking to a friend that is telling me of an experience they had I hold back on telling them of my similar experience fearing that it may look like one-upping or not allowing their experience to standalone in importance. Don’t get me wrong it’s important to participate and be a part of the conversation but not to be THE conversation. I am still guilty of all of the above as when I feel passionate about something I simply cannot help myself and have been known to railroad or grandstand.

interesting as I sit her and ponder these thoughts I realize that I am saying more now as I write this daily blog offering my thoughts through writing that I ever have before. While the voice is not audible it is absolutely still heard. The pressure I feel daily as I figure out what I am going to write about is “what do I have to say” that offers value to my readers. It’s important that these thoughts be my own and that I write about what I am passionate about or at least feel strongly. In some ways it’s W.A.I.T. in reverse…I am going to write so there has to be thought behind the intention it becomes “What Am I Talking About…”. Similarly if we simply put this same thought or intention behind what we were going to say before we said it we would be well spoken.

Last but not least, I have to pontificate on the power of our words as this is what got this topic started for me today. The words you say have immense power over YOU and everyone around you which is anyone that hears it or is told what you said. We have heard many times to be careful what you say because you cannot take it back. I think it’s important to note that while this applies as we know it in our “Golden Rules” it also applies to oneself. Be careful what you say about yourself because what you put out there is what you become. Don’t call yourself names, don’t put yourself down, treat yourself as you would your very best friend. If you would not say those things to them or about them, why are you saying them to or about yourself.

Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.” -Yehuda Berg

I will just leave this here and let it speak for itself. L.