What you say is what you will become; our words are our most powerful medium. More powerful than thoughts because they put into the universe for all to hear, digest and emote. Being an outspoken person I have seen the ups and downs of being heard. The good and the bad, the moments I wish I hadn’t said it and those moments that I was glad I did. I think a lot about the messages we send and offer you some of my own insight.
My latest venture is not telling on myself. I have always been one to put too much out there and now I am holding back more and more. I am not sure there is a specific reason other than now being in a place where I don’t think that everyone needs to know everything. So a fine example of this is, if I have to move a meeting on my calendar rather than sending out a note explaining why I am moving it, I now just make the request to move it and let it be. While i realize there are times that it is simply a courtesy to let someone “in” on why you are doing something that will affect them; rescheduling, canceling or simply saying “no” this doesn’t apply 100% of the time. I simply remind myself when I am in these situations “why am I telling on myself” and then decide if the additional personal information is going to add value or is even necessary.
Ultimately the greatest power in holding my tongue has been in my daily exercise of staying silent unless I have something meaningful to add to the conversation. I use the acronym W.A.I.T. – “Why Am I Talking” to remind me of my plight to stay silent. I have lived a lifetime of experiences and always have something to add but have learned that when you are always talking people stop listening. Eventually through this practice you will find that when you do have something to offer people listen more intently. I do this in all of my interactions. If I am in a meeting, I hold back to let everyone else express their ideas before I add anything to see if here is anything to add. When talking to a friend that is telling me of an experience they had I hold back on telling them of my similar experience fearing that it may look like one-upping or not allowing their experience to standalone in importance. Don’t get me wrong it’s important to participate and be a part of the conversation but not to be THE conversation. I am still guilty of all of the above as when I feel passionate about something I simply cannot help myself and have been known to railroad or grandstand.
interesting as I sit her and ponder these thoughts I realize that I am saying more now as I write this daily blog offering my thoughts through writing that I ever have before. While the voice is not audible it is absolutely still heard. The pressure I feel daily as I figure out what I am going to write about is “what do I have to say” that offers value to my readers. It’s important that these thoughts be my own and that I write about what I am passionate about or at least feel strongly. In some ways it’s W.A.I.T. in reverse…I am going to write so there has to be thought behind the intention it becomes “What Am I Talking About…”. Similarly if we simply put this same thought or intention behind what we were going to say before we said it we would be well spoken.
Last but not least, I have to pontificate on the power of our words as this is what got this topic started for me today. The words you say have immense power over YOU and everyone around you which is anyone that hears it or is told what you said. We have heard many times to be careful what you say because you cannot take it back. I think it’s important to note that while this applies as we know it in our “Golden Rules” it also applies to oneself. Be careful what you say about yourself because what you put out there is what you become. Don’t call yourself names, don’t put yourself down, treat yourself as you would your very best friend. If you would not say those things to them or about them, why are you saying them to or about yourself.
“Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.” -Yehuda Berg
I will just leave this here and let it speak for itself. L.