In these moments…

I love to see a moment unfold before my eyes, so much so that I have the awareness to take it all in and appreciate it. As I am climbing into bed tonight, feeling fulfilled from the day, I hear the rain outside and realize how peaceful it is. Quiet rainfall, not a downpour, and all I can hear in this moment are the drops hitting the roof. I would normally reach for the remote for the tv but instead, in this moment, I reach for my iPad and decide the time is better for an introspective blog post.

I look for these moments in my life and when I see them I identify them internally and depending on the company sometimes externally. I have moments all the time with or without the benefit of company or structure. Here are two examples that are still top of mind:

  • The other day I was driving home and saw a rainbow that was a full arc, end to end. In that moment I realized how magical it was and all that I had to be grateful for in this life.
  • On Friday as I was wrapping up a second day of doing budgets, it occurred to me as I sat with the three brilliant minds that make-up my team that I was in such perfect company. I told them as much.

Life is full of these moments however if you are not allowing the space to see them occur before you they will move on unidentified. This is the best reason I can think of for simply taking a moment when you get it; truly seizing that moment and reveling in it. A song, a rainbow, a feeling, whatever the moment is revel in it. You will not get that moment back every again, because it is just that, a moment in time and then it is gone.

I appreciate the impact of a moment so much that I have made a habit of texting someone when I am thinking about them. Just a quick note that says, “You are on my mind”. I do it because I believe in the energy of the universe and that if something comes to mind it is likely because of a flow of energy surrounding that thought or person. I did this recently for a beautiful friend of mine that has been working very long days away from home and she later told me, “Lori, you have no idea that at the moment I got your text, I needed it the most.”. She noted that there was no possible way I could have known what she was going through in that moment but what I did know is she came to my mind so strongly that it urged me to let her know she was in my thoughts.

Tonight I hope that you take a moment and simply breathe in the air around you reminding yourself that these moments in life are fleeting and the only way to truly “seize the day” is to stop, stop everything, and take a moment for yourself. You deserve to see the world around you. Take time to smell the roses, tell someone you are thinking about them and most importantly take care of yourself. You are the moment.

Life as it inspired me tonight – L.

Self-Conclusion…Live NOW

An interesting response came the other night from Gary. I was sitting on the couch watching TV and working on my laptop. As I was shutting my laptop down and closing the recliner to get up I said to Gary “I really need to get my life together!”. To this Gary literally laughed out loud and said, “If you need to get YOUR life together we are all in trouble”. He actually made me laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement! To this brief, comical encounter I offer you the last of the Self-Series.

I often pontificate on the life I have and if it is indeed the life I want. I do this because I am of the belief that we are the ultimate creators of our life through our choices. We come into this world alone and we leave it presumably alone and yet how we live is so frequently dependent on others. Seems an oxymoron of statements. The reality is that even as we live with others we are on our own in defining life as we live it.

We are all so busy making it happen for everyone else. But what about the canvas that is your own life? As Oprah says, “You alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-true-love/201910/what-i-learned-being-oprah

I feel that I have become an expert at creating the blueprints that define the life I want to live and then creating or architecting that existence. Unless I am tired, distracted, happy, sad, content, etc. You name it and it has the ability to throw me off of the plan and leave me with all of the pieces and parts that I attempted to set in motion lying around me. Pulling from my recent “Self-Series” it would seem that self-discipline, self-motivation and a bit of self-control could solve for any distraction, yet here I sit.

My ability to summon the self-discipline/motivation/control can certainly push beyond my mood or state of being in the short-term. It is the long-haul that is put to the test when the only consequence is yourself. If I am not letting anyone else down then why does it matter if I don’t run, write, read, sleep, _____________. But the reality is that letting myself down is the worst thing I could do because I matter and what matters to me, matters.

The life I want requires many things from the “self” but most importantly the result of the life I want is to feel satisfied with what I am doing, who I am and how I live it. The only way to do this is to not be dependent on others or situations. You have to be willing to live despite it all. I used to say “I will be happy when_________”, “Things will be perfect when_______.”, you fill in the blanks. And then I got to __________ and nothing changed relative to my happiness beyond what it already was prior to the condition I was summoning.

Today, this weekend and even some of last week, I was living my “best” life. Life fulfilled with those that matter most, doing the things that matter to me and finding value in that simplicity. Don’t make it harder than it has to be, live it simply. Live it without conditions and live it now, right where you are…today, this minute…now.

Live as I see it – L.

What to write about…

I sit here every night wondering what inspired me today enough to make it my subject. And then I have those days that are simply wonderfully random and I have thought I would like to write about all of these “feels” that I have experienced that day. So today is that day, my day of randomness that I just want to share everything:

  • Watching AGT which I was never a fan of before but became a fan in the year I spent with my mother, it was a fave of hers. The randomness of my thoughts tonight are that the judges just gave a standing O for a lovely girl but the song was not so lovely…
  • So many changes happening with my youngest who just passed his Learner’s Permit tonight and talked to me about getting a job next. It’s happening…freedom found…and I am losing my last baby. Oh my heart…
  • My husband was not feeling well today and as I am listening to the symptoms I am internally panic stricken that the thought that he would ever leave me here alone is beyond comprehension. Do you ever panic over the thought of losing your loved ones even though you know even thinking about it is the wrong train of thought, but you are so in fear…ugh…I’ll stop now.

This was just the randomness of my evening. My ride home conversation was rewarding as yet another one of my loves shares their next venture and courage to make the change they want in their own life.

This is life, it’s random, it’s not predictable but most importantly it is absolutely what YOU make it. I have struggled lately figuring out this “new normal”, making sense out of the randomness and the many changes occurring all at the same time in my life. What I have learned in these moments is:

  • To be grateful for the stability in those around you that are your constant.
  • Don’t miss the moments of fellowship in every experience. Today that came in the most random moments. A person interrupting a meeting, a person staying late to share stories about their children and the best of course was being having a late dinner and playing in the ball pit with my grand babies.

Tomorrow is another day. It will be random as any other day. These days I look forward to the random, I am beyond longing for normal, my life is as versatile as my spirit, my views and my love

What do I write about tonight? What I always write about…

Life as I see it – L.