Another Day…to Contemplate

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Yea, this picture, this is exactly what it feels like to be in my head on any given day. Contemplation over every single thing. Every single person. Every thought and emotion contemplated over and over and over again. Start…no stop. Do…no just be…still. My mind goes one million miles an hour from the minute I wake (before my eyes are even open) until the moment I drift off to sleep (only possible through medication). Obsessive? Compulsive? Manic? Depression? What does it really matter what you call it except that this is “Me”.

Interesting that I called this blog “Always Starting…The Art of Never Giving Up”. Initially, I wore this as a badge of honor; like a warrior in battle. Profound words indeed as I realize that the warrior in battle is only defined by how he leaves the fight; alive or dead. Success could be defined either way, if alive he won and persevered or maybe is alive as a prisoner of the war. If dead it could mean he was courageous in his fight or shot in the back while running away. Perspective. It is truly all we have; your perspective and mine.

I have learned through my life of therapy that you must respect everything that has helped you survive for without “it” who’s to say how it all would have ended. Addiction, compulsion, obsession, or whatever your tool, are survival mechanisms. Most are not sustainable in their original form but through adjustment can create incredible resources. Addiction in its most evil form can kill or harm however when redirected towards good can bring about major life change. Compulsion and obsession are also spontaneous and perfectionists in different forms. Perspective changes the judgment. If I say that “She is compulsive” it brings about a negative connotation however if I reframe it that “She is spontaneous” we reimagine someone free and liberated living a rich existence. Ha…perspective…what a lie.

By now you are reading and wondering, “Where is she going, as we are a mile down a rabbit hole and not sure if I am inspired or concerned?”. I am trying to realign my “resources” to stop the contemplation that threatens my sanity; and everyone around me. I am trying to figure out how to tame a “monkey mind” that is brilliant and yet all over the place. I am fighting deadlines and expectations as defined by me, myself, and I. I am wondering where you, the reader, fit into all of this or if you do. I post my writing and my activity to inspire…hmmm…or is it to get credit or yield criticism.

This is what contemplation looks like and where all other “diagnosis” exists. Call it what you will, or don’t. Understand it as you know it, or don’t. As one could guess I am not a “stick your head in the sand” kind of person; compulsive, obsessive, and contemplative people do not stick their heads in the sand. They do quite the opposite, they build 15 sandcastles and contemplate how many more to build; ultimately not needing one, let alone 15 sandcastles.

What is the purpose of today’s blog? Rant? Statement? I don’t really know. It is what was top of mind. It is where I am going to find an outlet. Contemplating the next thing I will write, the next thing I will do today or won’t. Contemplation.

Life as contemplate it — L.

Dress Rehearsal to 50 with only six months more to practice before my debut!

Don’t see it, don’t hear it, don’t speak it…it is what you know…just be.

Time to stop the guesswork

Run don’t run, eat don’t eat, work don’t work, sit don’t sit…it’s insanity! Everything we are supposed to do, we aren’t. Everyone we are supposed to be, we shouldn’t. Where is the line and who decides when you cross over? What I know is that when I run I am a better version of me. What I know is when I don’t obsess over what I eat, I eat less and better. What I know is when I put boundaries around work, I have more expertise. What I know is that I can’t sit…I just don’t know how.

Six months before my 50th birthday and I am finally realizing that the first 49.5 years were the dress rehearsal for what will be the best days of my life. I have spent 49.5 years learning how other people do “it” and then trying “it” on for size. Well I finally know what works for me and now I need to do “it” and move on to the greatest performance of my life, my 50’s.

I know what styles fit my body best and it is not likely that after 50 years this will change. I know what foods work in my system best, as no one has a system like mine. I know how to do my job best for the company that is the perfect fit for me. I know what I know and for those things there should be no more decisions. Let knowing be the decision allowing more time for those mysteries that remain.

Figuring out the last act

What I believe lies in front of me, in the next six months is to figure out the rest. Those things that I have not found the fit. The monkey brain that cannot slow down, cannot stop thinking, cannot relent that is what is left to figure out. Even for that I know the course to take yet continue to stumble as it takes over. The noise, the never ending cacophony of what I should be doing all the time is the next frontier. Do I meditate, do I use oils, do I listen to spa music all day, do I watch tv, read, walk, sleep…RIGHT down the RABBIT HOLE I go!!!

I know what I know. We all do. It is just a matter of putting it all in its place. I control the mind, it does not control me. I control the reaction regardless of what plays out in front of me. Just like the brands I choose to buy, the people I surround myself with, the life I have created…I ultimately have control of this monkey mind and that is the mantra, the final act I will rehearse for the sake of sanity.

Putting it in place is the easy part. Playing it out is where the rubber meets the road. Easy to do when the day is yours to decide. Hard-as-heck when the pressures of life have their way with you.

Life as I live it – L.

Raw Thoughts on Space and the Doing of Being…

To be or not to be…there is so much to do.

Space is Mine when Time Permits

As I have been enjoying the holiday for the last two days I have not worked at all and because we are in quarantine time is immense. There is time to do everything and anything; as long as I am home. As the past three days have gone I feel the tension and stress of my world lifting. I magically have time to do things I simply don’t have time for normally. I have read three books in the last week, watched a number of Netflix series and spent an enormous amount of time sitting on my back porch. It has been bliss.

I have also been spending time thinking about my writing and why I am not doing more of it. My words have not dried up, I have simply not taken the time to put them on paper. Where is my commitment to this gift that allows me to put things on paper that I don’t even realize I am thinking? As it happens when I get stressed the first thing to go out of balance are those things I love the most like hobbies and self-care. Ironically I realize how badly I need those things when I am stressed more than when I am not. It is those things that help balance me out, that take down the intensity within and allow space to breathe. While time permits I am finding my chill-factor surprising with today being the pinnacle as I decided to do literally nothing. I have read, I have walked, watched football, read some more and napped. Wow. …and then I feel guilty like I should be doing something. Why?

Trapped between Being and Doing

I explore this idea of doing and being productive with my therapist often as my self-worth is wrapped up in the doing. I struggle to simply “be”. I am still exploring the concepts of “being” and “doing” so I don’t have the answers but I am sure they lie somewhere in the balance that is otherwise lacking in my “normal” life. The fact is I like how “being” feels. Being seems to be where gratitude lives. When you are being you are not wanting more of anything. To be is to be one with what you have, who you are and where you exist. I want to want to BE.

The oxymoron here is that in order to be I do more to get myself to a point where I can be. Wait…what the hell? I guess that is truly the definition of an oxymoron and why I don’t have the time to DO the things I want to do or to simply BE because I am always doing things to get to the next state of being. Forget oxymoron it is simply moronic!

I conclude by being honest with myself and knowing that I am a doer and even in that statement it is flawed because I don’t get to do the things I want often enough. If time is mine to decide then why can’t I decide when, where and how I will “do” my life outside of a holiday weekend? I know the reality is that I can, I always decide even when I decide an unbalanced approach that turns me into someone I don’t want to “be”. The blessing of today is there is space to pontificate these states of contrast. The blessing tomorrow will only exist if I continue to pontificate on a new future; one where doing and being live together in a peaceful existence.

Life as I live it – L.

Balanced…a lesson in boundaries and freedom of choice

I watched a TED Talk featuring Nigel Marsh on “How to make work-life balance work” and thought it was worth sharing as it inspired so many of my own thoughts and opinions on the topic.

Never has there been a time in our world where work and life have collided as millions of us are working from “home”. Gone are the days of punching in and out at the office as the office is now where we wake, where we eat our meals, where we live. It is fair to say that if you didn’t have balance before you are lacking it now…immensely.

As a leader I have preached work-life balance to my team and have worked hard to find it. I absolutely practice what I preach although not perfect I know the foundational points of the TED Talk are true and so I share them and my exponential thoughts on each with you.

  • If you don’t design your life someone else will design it for you and you may not like their idea of balance. #word
  • Never put the quality of your life into the hands of a commercial corporation. (It is not your companies responsibility to provide you balance. It is their responsibility to find the best candidate for the job to get it done efficiently.)
  • We have to be responsible for setting the boundaries we want in our life. #word
  • You have to elongate the time frame beyond a day; approach balance in a balanced way.
  • The small things matter.
  • The smallest investment in the right places can radically transform the quality of your relationships and life.

Six transformational statements, profound. This is what it is really all about. I have succeeded at some of the six and are learning how to solve where I have failed. The point is that I practice, I take a run at each of these on a daily basis.

The responsibility of having freedom is the act of choosing. Then why do we choose and then begrudge that choice? As if we can’t make yet another decision to change courses?

You decide, ultimately. If you don’t want to work in an office, don’t. If you don’t want to work weekends, don’t. If you don’t want to “drink the kool-aid”, don’t. Find what works for you. Don’t begrudge others that DO just because you don’t. You make everyone miserable when you DO what you DON’T want to…you decide for YOU.

It is YOUR life, YOUR journey, make sure you are getting more out of it then it is getting out of you. I give this career advice often. I believe that if you go about work, career or truly any task with this mindset everyone wins. If you are getting out of it what serves you best, you will serve the job better. If you are a slave to the job or task, nothing is achieved. You lose and so does the benefactor.

Last but not least is the idea of balance in your day, week, month…life. Decide what you want it to look like and then execute that vision. Understand that every day will not look the same and allow time to find the equilibrium. Sometimes in attempting to balance we realize that we have to remove from one side or another as all that we want is simply not possible. Again this is where choice is your responsibility. Right-side your ship to allow for smooth sailing.

I am reminded frequently by the wise duo that I call “The Aunts” that we all have the same 24 hours in a day; how we spend it is ours to decide. You will ALWAYS have the time however what you choose to do with it…well that is your responsibility. Own it.

Life as I balance it – L.

Even Concrete Cracks

This was the reality check I was given as I found myself in a puddle of tears. “Even concrete cracks” is the resolve to understanding why even the strongest of the strong humans crack. In this case it was me, cracked wide open. While the release is necessary the reality causes as much reeling as the pressure rising to its boiling point within. We easily forget this when we are at that boiling point which tends to be our weakest moments.

My crack started to form as I was rounding two weeks post-op and still dealing with daily pain. The key to managing pain is to find a baseline that you can tolerate however it is in that tolerance that you wear out. When you are in active pain, it too is exhausting, however with a remedy it is resolved. When you are managing a “pain baseline” the tolerance requires a managed effort. This is effort that requires energy from stores that are depleted. At this point it goes beyond the physical and begins to overwhelm you mentally making everything bigger than it is and the entire environment becomes overwhelming. It is in these moments that you hope you are surrounded by “your village”. I was. I am.

Healing may be the biggest effort I make in my lifetime. This physical healing has unfortunately become familiar to me however regardless of how many times I repeat the process it does not get easier. I am healing faster this time, but I am no less exhausted and emotionally spent. I knew what was coming and how to make the best of it and that preparation may have been my secret weapon. I can only imagine where I would be right now if I had not prepped. My village tells me how much worse it could be…that does not help. My village tells me how well I am doing…that does not help. What helps? Sometimes just crying it out or screaming irrationally; any outlet as for all the input there has to be a release. Where is that written in the textbooks? Where is that in the hospital discharge notes? It needs to be states somewhere, “when it all gets to be too much just scream!” Ha, yes that is a prescription worth noting.

…and that is all I have to say about that.

Life as I live it – L.

Epiphany

And just like that it occurs to me. That I have indeed manifested this, the life I always dreamed of without realizing I was heading right for it. It just occurred to me this morning as I was finishing a 12-week program via the “The Artist’s Way”, that everything that I have done for the last 49 years has prepared me for the next chapter. I always said that when I turned 50-years old that I wanted to teach, I wanted to transition into a new chapter; and while I struggled to see the forest for the trees along the route today I have walked out of that forest, at the end of that path and turned around and there it is…every single tree, every sapling, every seed that was ever planted is now the forest. It is a wealth of experiences, paths and journeys; thorns, bites and equal amounts of sun shining through that will catapult me into my dream. Wow, I am in awe as I write this and the realization shows itself clear as the day that is beginning.

The irony is that I realize now, in this moment, that all of the work in raising my children, cultivating a partnership and friendship that has served as my marriage to the very best partner for me and building a career that can sustain it all has brought me to this place that I can realize the next chapter that lies in front of me. All along I thought my dream would not come to pass because of my lack of realization that the additional education I thought i needed was being attained all along. I dreamed of being a Professor and yet I am. I thought it would be teaching hospitality however I have just realized that it is that and so much more. I thought it would require another degree and yet I realize that there is no more that I can be taught in a structured environment that I have not learned through experience. It is taking what I have learned on these paths that will now be my next chapter. I have learned how to share, I have learned from the masters and I am not afraid. For the reality is that I have earned a doctorate in life studies, learned in a classroom that has been my last 49 years of life.

The epiphany is so profound, the realization that it, all of it, that I have worked for has lifted me to the place that I dreamed of, the place I wished to be, and now it is my only task to take the next steps. So now I walk back through the paths that I have beaten and worn and now reminiscing those walks with eyes wide open, I am able to see in hindsight those things that were beneath the surface. I will feel those things all over again with renewed senses and the benefit of maturity. The only task left “to do” is to simply to release the constraints that I have allowed to weigh me down through my own imprisonment and realize that I am free to go, to soar, to realize this new life, reality and existence without obstacle.

This is real, this is how it occurred to me on this morning as I was doing my “Morning Pages” and had this immense realization and thought enough to capture the moment in my writing. There are so many themes in this realization that are worth pointing out to avoid anything going missed.

  • The epiphany is simply as defined, “a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.” I have been doing the work and through the work it suddenly appeared, my future, my dream in realization, in full color, right in front of me.
  • The power of manifestation as defined, “being able to harness your true destinies and desires in life, subconsciously put into vision, and then into reality. Everything you want of the universe is already yours the clearer your thoughts and thinking on the matter, the more timely and precise the delivery will come.” Put whatever it is out there, a goal, a FINISH LINE, a dream; whatever you want to call it simply put it out there and return to it often, doing the work along the way that you believe will bring you to that place…and it will be yours.
  • The faith as defined, “complete trust or confidence in something or someone.” If you believe in yourself and trust that what you want will be yours as long as you are willing to do the work, walk the path and have “faith” despite a guarantee that it will be, it will come, if you only believe.

I give this to you as my gift. A glimpse into my soul, my beliefs, my heart. I give back to myself the gift of documenting this moment to allow myself the privilege of revisiting this moment in all of its power. I look forward to the hindsight it will provide in ten years when I will be grateful that I took a chance on myself and willingness to share with YOU.

Life as I manifest it – L.

The Angst that is Anxiety…

I like so many others are dealing in anxiety daily. It creates an angst that makes you want to run but what exactly is stirring inside of you and where you want to run cannot be identified. It is a whir of nervous energy that unlike excitement breeds a feeling of doom. It feels like the world is going to crash down around you. Angst as it is defined is…

…which is exactly as I have described. So now that we know the feeling, what do we do about it. What I find is that while I KNOW what to do when the anxiety hits I rarely do what I know. I instead sit in it which compounds until the point that it can make you feel like shutting down. It is for this reason that today I bring you the “list” that you can turn to when you feel that angst and in doing this I am serving myself as well as this list I need to be reminded to turn to as well.

Here are some of the things that I know work:

  • Don’t predict the future! You have no idea what is coming and cannot control it so focus on what you can control. Prophesizing what might happen does not serve anyone.
  • Don’t “sit in it”! This is about moving on from the thing that is causing the anxiety. In our case at this time and place that equates to getting stuck in front of the news that is reporting 24 hours a day the doom and the gloom that is paralyzing us! Limit the information stream.
  • Create routines. We are a species that thrives in routine. Where we have routines we have resolve. This is what is causing the most anxiety at this time is that everything that we know is upside down. We are no longer following a routine that we know so well we sometimes do it without thinking. We have to think about everything right now because nothing is routine. The most mundane of routines like going to the store or leaving the house requires thought. Create a new routine and follow it.
  • Get moving. Exercise solves anxiety in a HUGE way. Take a walk, turn on music and dance, do yoga, or just do anything that gets your body moving which helps your mind process. Personally I have to push myself to start but once I am in motion, I feel better almost immediately.
  • Call a friend. As we find ourselves isolated reaching out and talking to others creates a fellowship that reminds us that we are not alone. Even better is to utilize technology and have a video call so you can see the smile on the faces of those that you cherish.
  • Create your own peace. Turn on music, practice breathing exercises, sit in nature (even if that is in your backyard); create peace around you. Meditation can create that peace and there are numerous resources online to use if you are unsure how to meditate on your own.

Like everything in our lives anxiety comes down to a lack of control or indecision. We cannot control everything around us and ultimately that is affecting us. We have to identify what we CAN control and exercise our ability to DECIDE. You decide what you will do and ultimately you can ease the angst. You may not be able to totally remove the anxiety but relieving it is a start. Do what you can by first identifying the feeling and then deciding to do something.

We are in this together as a globe! Never have we been reminded how equal we all are as in this moment as titles, roles and identities will not remove us from this reality. Coming together and realizing that we are more alike than we are different is the resolution we have always needed. Embrace who we are…

…one nation under God indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Life as I live it…anxious – L.

Forgiveness…on my terms

Forgiveness is a tricky thing; concept and word. We all understand that on the surface it suggests that we will “let go” of something that has harmed us. However in deeper terms you often hear of stories of forgiveness that breach concept; like when a mother forgives the person that murdered her child. I have often thought, “How is that possible?” But as I continue to experience life and the much smaller grievances where I have been challenged to employ forgiveness I am learning the many facets.

Forgiveness in the simplest of examples in my life has been easier than forgiving unmentionable harm like murder. Simple, every day harm is when your loved one is playing around and hurts your feelings. You are hurt in the moment but they ask for forgiveness and all is forgotten…or is it. In the more complicated of examples I have experienced harm that cuts deep; words seem to be the weapon of choice, and those words are not so easily forgotten as it goes deeper than “hurt feelings”. In both cases I have attempted to forgive but find myself “still wounded” and out of sorts for the forgiveness that I am supposed to have given.

Even when I think of the more simple examples of harm, we say we forgive but we are quick to bring back up that “one time” when an example surfaces that recalls that harm. But if we truly forgave why does the evidence still exist? In the more complicated instances of harm, we forgive for the sake of moving on, never really forgetting what that party is capable of, the harm already done and on the lookout for it to return. Again in this case is it fair to suggest that we have forgiven…if we are still holding on and worse preparing for the next injury?

I think in my life I am finally learning what forgiveness is and is not. In my life forgiveness is moving on but not fooling myself that I am moving past it. I will forgive for the sake of the relationship, the family or unfortunately whatever greater good I have put before my own but certainly do not forget. The problem is that this lives within me, in my soul, tormenting my inner consciousness because it is not resolved. I am learning that the sentiment of forgiveness is not one I easily exercise and as I am learning of the failures of forgiveness I am having to exercise new protocol.

Today forgiveness is instead, me accepting that the harm that was done is real, because of my perception, and will continue to occur if I allow it. Forgiveness under these terms means that I let it/them go and not the harm or words and then truly move on with my life. I don’t allow myself to feel bad for removing someone from my circle as my form of forgiveness suggests that this person is this way and cannot/will not change and hence it is in MY best interest that I remove them from my reach. This concept is allowing me to shut the door on further harm versus what I previously would do which was to shut out my feelings for the sake of not making them feel “bad”. On this I now call BS!

I have always said that there was only one thing I learned from Dr. Phil and that was “you teach people how to treat you”, I live by these words every single day of my life. The difference is that I have never held anyone accountable to this until now. If I do the work and make sure that you know how to treat me, on my terms, and you work against that model then I may “forgive and forget” once but no longer will I continue to allow myself to be a victim of “how you are”. This is not misuse of grammar this is the absolute. I have too often in my life dealt with people who are abusive to others and hear it said “well that is just how he/she is”…to this I also call BS. They can certainly be any way in which they chose to be, but not to ME. I will simply not allow it.

I had this epiphany on forgiveness during my run today and it felt so freeing to realize that yes, I can forgive, like so many do, but I can and will forgive on my terms. Your terms of forgiveness are yours and I have to learn to be held accountable to yours as well as you will mine. My terms of forgiveness suggest that I will be honest and transparent in my relationships and may forgive once but I will not be re-injured time and time again.

Forgive and forget…well yes I think I will…I will forget that I have to tiptoe around you, abide by your rules and take your abuse. I will forgive that this is simply “who you are”; someone I used to know.

Moving on, to higher roads. L.

I keep a record of the wreckage in my life…

Nightmare by Halsey

Publishing what I like to call an OVERDOSE to “THE DAILY DOSE” of my Facebook page, “Always Starting…The Art of Never Giving Up”. This was a very raw moment but so honest and having slept on it for over a week I am ready to hit publish. Relish in the honesty…

Sitting on the back porch wondering why or better HOW I was in this situation…again.

I don’t owe you a goddamn thing!!!

Forgiving is a lie…moving on is elemental but forgetting is impossible. Even moving on is elusive as you never really move completely from that place. A little piece of you is always left as proof that you have been there.

Own your shit, bury the shame because it’s all just a game. Whatever exists you can’t change it and whether you wanted to or not you are changed by it. Get over it, move on WITH it and navigate around it. Be better not bitter but don’t allow yourself to be victimized by the victim of your stories.

This is what makes your mess your message as long as you don’t continue to wallow in the mess. If you continue to allow ppl to treat you in a manner you don’t support or more importantly advocate then you are not rising from the mess. Stand up, wash off and get the hell out of the hole.

Life as I live it – L.

Friendships – Do they choose us or do we choose them or…

Friendship is something we all learn about early in our lives. Our first friends are typically our parents, friends children, cousins or if you are so blessed, a sibling. These early relationship form so easily out of the commonality of having parents that like to spend time together and hence your friends are formed. These early friendships might be some of the truest because the work is done through finding our shared likes and dislikes and having tolerance for both. Rarely later in life do you find yourself in the same situation as these early friendships where they are “forced”.

I have many friends and when I look at the landscape of my friends I have learned to accept that they all have/had their place in my life.

Early Friends – I have a handful of friendships, still, that formed in my childhood. These friendships are the truest that I know as we can spend years apart and the minute we come back together it as if we had never been apart. I value these friendships the most as these are the people that truly know me and still love me. They have been the audience of my life, through all of the good and bad, and are still here.

Work Friends – I think that these friendships are much like “early friends” in that we typically don’t choose our coworkers. We seemingly choose who we draw close to during those 40 hours we spend at work together but inevitably we share many varying relationships that ebb and flow with the environment. I have had the blessing of finding some of my best friends in the workplace.

Acquaintances – I have come to appreciate these friendships the most as these are truly those that only serve you when they serve you. Selfish, yes, but admittedly satisfying. These are those that you know but don’t see often. They are friends of friends, they are social media followers and sometimes previous friends that time has drawn away. These are the friendships that frequently surprise me the most as they show up when you least expect it but most need it. These are also the friendships that seem the most forgiving as they are not close enough to judge your good and bad.

Best Friends – These are the ones that create the greatest emotion. They bring about the greatest love and cause the worst hurt. These are friendships that draw us in through connection and just short of intimacy we allow “in” without caution. Much like our intimate relationships we open up our hearts and souls to these friends giving them unfettered access to every part of our true selves and lives.

The reality of this friendship profile is that one friend can be all of these in a lifetime.

I was not blessed to have a sibling and as an only child I found friends that took the place of the sisters and brothers that were missing in my life.

  • My earliest Best Friends were Tommy, Anna and Jennifer. They were my neighbors in my first home in Miami. Those days are still remembered with candor. We would play kickball in the street, using the potholes as our bases. We took ice skating lessons together. We would also know the bitterness of each being the odd-man out in a friendship of three! 🙂 I lost touch with them when we moved to Edgewater but have never forgotten them nor those memories.
  • My longest friends are Kelly and Ginni who I met in school and have always remained close. We shared the gift of friendship, raising our children together and now becoming grandma’s!
  • My closest “friends” are my cousins Shirley and Tanya. This is where I know I was blessed as I have never been a cousin and always the third sister. They know me and love me beyond measure. This is what a blessed friendship is truly made of and earned.

I felt compelled to write this blog because I am seemingly on the “way out” of a friendship that has meant the world to me but is now breaking my heart. I have learned in my 48-years that this is how most friendships mature; they are exhilarating in the beginning, serve a supreme purpose when they are at their pique and then as our lives take us into different directions we are left wondering what went wrong. I have also had the benefit of experience to know that these friendships that drive miles between us are never really “gone” as the best ones will show-up right when you need them.

If you are reading this today and have been or are a friend of mine, I say THANK YOU for loving me. Thank you for teaching me, thank you for being a part of my story. I know that as I grow wiser in my life it is because of the many friendships that have enriched my heart and soul. For every friendship regardless of time or situation has a place in the story that is our lives. For those that have played a leading or supporting role I am blessed and for those that continue to be a part of my story; stick around, it is sure to be a FUN ride.

Life as I see it – L.