I had a great conversation with my Aunt this week, I asked her what she thought of the last few blogs that were born out of my reactions to the books I am currently reading and she said “I didn’t love them”. I wasn’t surprised because quite frankly, neither did I. Her point was that people are following my blog because of me. My life experiences, my stories, life as I see it. Her fear is that I will lose my audience if my writing is centered around other people’s experiences as everyone has the same access and if they wanted to follow those people they would. Additionally it’s not so much about their work as much as it is about my reaction to their work and that is where I was finding the difficulty in my writing. As I found myself so illuminated by these writers I am compelled to share however instead of owning it and its transformation in my mind I was sharing so literally that my writings were mired with quotes and annotations that took me away from my true thoughts. It’s with this sentiment that I start again and bring it back to me.
One of my core values in life is Owning It and Never Giving Your Power Away. So for today I would like to explore these two concepts from my perspective, because in this blog that is what it’s about…me! 🙂
In reflecting on how to stay focused on what and how I want to write I remember that Owning It means that I own the thoughts that are provoked at the experiences as I have lived them and as they show themselves. Even when reading provokes thoughts and emotion, they are mine to own, mine to share. We know that three people can read the same thing and come out with three very different perspectives and therefore there is great value in citing that perspective from my point of view without citing so literally. This is the easy part of owning it; it gets much harder in life when we own who we are without apology and what we want to do without permission. These are the times when owning it becomes an active verb, one that requires you to “stand in it”, not waiver and do “it” anyway.
Never Give Your Power Away. Not in the good times, not in the bad, not ever…it is simply not necessary. Not in your writing and not in any of your efforts; not for good and not for guilt. Don’t make someone else the “reason” for your thoughts or actions. This is the fine line where owning it and giving your power away meet. You are doing whatever you are doing for YOU. I always cringe when I hear people say “I am doing this for ___________”. It comes across as a way to justify the excess of the moment rather than owning that maybe they are really enjoying that moment, opportunity or advantage. More often than not we see people give their power away when they don’t speak up for themselves or how they feel. When they compromise to a point that they are paying a higher price than who they are compromising with. I am reminded of this when dealing with people that do not bring out the best in me; as I am handing over my power in that moment that they are evoking the worst of me. Why would I do that? Why is that person so important that I would compromise who I am, what I stand for or my person for them? They aren’t, trust me when I say no one is!
My life as i have come to know it is different then everyone around me, and theirs are different than mine, we truly all have a story and how we tell it or if we tell it can make the difference. Owning that story can create power. There were many moments in this life that I tried to keep my story under wraps, because I didn’t want to own it, however as I got older I came to realize that my story, every moment, shaped who I had become. There was no shame in that and instead I found myself so grateful for MY journey as I am certain that my life today would be different had I not had the experiences that have defined me. In owning it I have also learned to retain the power of my story where it serves me and to only give away that which I was carrying that was never mine to own. THIS IS THE POWERFUL STUFF…handing power away NOT giving it away but putting things back where they belong when they were never yours to begin with…this is where the power play is won. But that is an entirely different story for another day…to be continued. L.