Today is my monthly session at Celebration Health to speak to the Bariatric Info Group. As I have reported before I like to sit in the very back of the room, where I sat for the first time four years ago. I am always in awe of the courage in the room; the 27 ppl sitting here looking for the answer to a problem that they cannot solve on their own. I will stand up in front of them and tell them why I made the decision to have Gastric Bypass almost four years ago and hope that my image and my pitch will inspire them to do the same.
…and what this room of courageous people cannot know is that I am still working at this every single day! I am currently on a carb binge that is shameful and addictive. Carbs have had to become my diet because of complications from this years procedures. But now I am healed and should be back exercising and following a healthy diet…but…I am not.
So here I am sitting in the room hoping to find the inspiration I need to be a boomerang of Bariatric protocol. Integrity is key, I cannot stand here and purport success and yet go home and eat a bowl of pasta. But I will. Who knew it could be so hard to start again. It’s an amazing reality to be faced with starting over again after thinking you had mastered something. While you may have mastered it in the truest form of knowledge the habits are only maintained through consistent practices.
The message that offer is honest and transparent because I will offer nothing less. I tell them that I sat where they were four years ago so nervous about my pending decision. I tell them that I did it and they can too. But then I tell them that I am still struggling. I admit to them that last night my night ended with a bowl of Lucky Charms. Yes for someone that cannot tolerate sugar that is an awful choice. I tell them that the reason Gastric Bypass is still my choice is because of the reaction from my body after eating Lucky Charms. I was sweating, sick, shaking; not exactly the luck of the Irish but what I had coming to me.
I still belong here, I will always be a Bariatric patient. I will always be a student of Bariatric and by sitting in the back of this room I am once again “Always Starting” because I decided four years ago I was never “giving up”.
Life as I live it…one-day-at-a-time…L.
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