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Just show up…

Today I am reminded how important it is to simply show up in the lives of those your love. As I am sitting here at 1:38a which is officially one year from the last day I had with my Mom I am reminded of the kindness and selflessness of others. It was that selflessness that sustained me in the past year as life would test me to my core. I woke up this morning to a text message from one of my best friends reminding me of the selfless act she gave my mother. This offering gave my Mom and I yet another memory; one more for all of those we would not get in the future.

The last year of my mom’s life I would run every race for her and when I would fly up for her next doctor’s visit I would bring her that month’s medal. The medals were a source of strength for her to turn to when she felt she was at the bottom of her barrel. In that year of races, I would have to miss one due to injury. I was disappointed that I would not have a medal to give my mom that month but she understood. Then weeks later I got a call from my mom who was crying, absolutely moved by the selflessness of another. She says to me, “Did you know she was going to do this?” and me not knowing what she is referring to says “No” at which point she reads the letter that accompanied the medal, as pictured above. My mom was moved to tears and I was moved beyond words. This is showing up.

This week has been tough but manageable but as I have drawn closer to the final day of the anniversary of her leaving this earth I have been searching for a way to bear it. As it turns out The Rolling Stones had rescheduled their original Miami tour date and now they were due to play Friday night. I have debated going all week thinking that it would be a great way to celebrate the one thing we shared a love for…music. I decided this morning as I was getting ready for work that I was going to go. I packed a bag and texted Molly that we were going! As I drove to work thinking about how I wanted the night to play out it became clear I wanted my Dad to be by my side. It just made sense. While he was caught by surprise by the spontaneity of the request he was quick to say YES! Tonight was everything I needed it to be. My daughter on one side and my dad and stepmom on the other and The Rolling Stones playing their last show of their tour. Perfection.

The other reason the night was perfect was because she was with me tonight, this I know. We were late getting to the venue and while the entire day had little rain, as soon as we got in it started pouring, delaying the show. Ironic maybe. But then at the very end of a very dry concert as they were playing their final songs; it started raining again. Just a beautiful mist of rain to cap off the night. When I looked at the clock it was the same time that she passed on this same Friday last year. I was moved to tears. I know she was there with me celebrating another great concert, another memory. She showed up for me tonight, she always has and she always will. L.

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